The life that only you can save

The Journey by Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew 

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice-

though the whole house

began to tremble 

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"

each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stone.

But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do -
determined to save
the only life you could save.

My thoughts:

This is one of my favorite poems - one that never fails to inspire me, one that instills in me an unquenchable passion to do more. It speaks to me of undiscovered lands waiting to be traversed, of unknown skills waiting to be learned,  of unseen doors waiting to be opened. There may be voices trying to hold me back, wanting me to save them, whispering words of caution. But I know that I am only responsible for my saving own soul, because if I don't nurture my soul, who else will?

Ode to the dark, brooding hero of dreams

Random ramblings of a romantic soul

This post is dedicated to all the Heathcliffs, Rochesters, St. Vincents, Roarkes, Vipers, Devil's Cubs, and Lords of Scoundrels of the book world - the ones who, for years, have inspired in me a deep desire to decipher the meaning of their dark moods, to delve into their hidden tragedies, and to demonstrate to them how indispensable they are to my romance loving soul. These brooding heroes may inhabit the pages of a historical romance, fantasy, romantic suspense or gothic fiction. But wherever they may be found, they never fail to reduce me to a state of incoherent adulation and subsequent fascination with the scenes in which they make their appearance.

So what is it about these unapproachable, dangerously dark, emotionally tortured heroes which keeps me intrigued and eager to alleviate their obscure sorrow? Is it because they continue to plot their revenge and eventually emerge victorious, in spite of being ravaged by destiny? Is it because they are equally adept at disposing off their opponent effortlessly with a well-timed sarcastic comment as well as a sharp rapier blade? Or is it because one encounter with a paragon of goodness and light (read: heroine) is all it takes for the experienced reader to detect cracks in their seemingly impenetrable demeanor? Maybe it's because once committed (usually after lots of shenanigans by the heroine), they are steadfastly protective and unfailingly passionate?  Whatever the reason, I am forever a fool for such a hero and am susceptible to going into raptures over his dialogues and actions. In fact, he can come and brood in my bedchamber all day, while I secretly admire the sardonic curl of his lips, and the tormented, roiling emotions behind his flashing eyes (and then I may ungracefully subside into a swoon, overwhelmed by the broody mood)!

Gentle reader, are you sometimes similarly afflicted too? Do you also wish that the brooding hero would some day dash out from the pages and declare that, for some reason known only to him, you are the one he has been waiting for since eternity? So who are your favorite fictional brooding heroes? 

To end or not to end - that is the question

When a cliffhanger a night keeps death away!

Inspired by my last post about abrupt and incomplete endings in book series, I started researching the origins of the cliffhanger plot device in literature. Guess what I found? What if ending a story with a cliffhanger was the only way to stay alive?

Source: mlp.wikia.com

One of the earliest uses of the cliffhanger as the pivotal plot theme is found in the famous Arabic collection of folk tales, One Thousand and One Nights, believed to have originated in the medieval period. According to this story, King Shahryr, a Persian king of kings, angered by his first wife's betrayal, takes a new wife every night only to execute her the next morning. Scheherazade, a beautiful and clever storyteller and the latest to be chosen as the queen, devises a brilliant plan to survive. 

She tells Shahryr a beguiling story at night but leaves it at a cliffhanger at dawn. Though Shahryr is a ruthless king, like all human beings, he too is enthralled by an intriguing story and curious to know how it ends.  Thus he is compelled to postpone Scheherazade's execution till the next day when the story is complete. This continues night after night, as Scheherazade cleverly weaves a series of strange and intricate stories about morality, till the king finally repents for his behavior and and lets her live.

Can you imagine - 1001 nights of cliffhangers! No wonder the king is forced to concede defeat. I could never have tolerated even a week of that!

Source: www.youtube.com

One thing lead to another, and soon I found that the blogosphere was full of readers going into raptures over a recent retelling of Scheherazade's story, The Wrath and the Dawn, by debut author, Renee Ahdieh. It is a duology, with the second book in this series, The Rose and the Dagger, scheduled for release in May. One of my close friends, who knows her books, has already put this series on her reading list for 2016. Thus inspired, I reasoned that since May is not very far away, I might as well start with the first book in the series.

Book review: The Wrath and the Dawn

The plot:

This is the story of fearless and beautiful Shahrzad of Rey, who weds Khalid, the young Caliph of Khorasan, with the objective of exacting revenge for the murder of her friend, Shiva. Khalid is considered as a mad and ruthless monster by his subjects, because he marries a young girl from Rey each day, only to execute her at dawn. Shiva was just one of his many murdered brides. Shahrzad fiercely vows to win against Khalid at all costs, and not get killed in the process:

I will live to see tomorrow's sunset. Make no mistake. I swear I will live to see as many sunsets as it takes. And I will kill you. With my own hands.

Shahrzad discovers that things are not what they seem, and there are darker forces and political agendas at play inside and outside Khalid's palace. Khalid himself is an enigma, hiding his emotions and desires at all times, even from those close to him. Shahrzad uses her wits to keep Khalid engrossed in her stories, while fully expecting to be executed any morning. 

Thus begins a story built on the foundations of hatred, revenge, hidden agendas and deadly secrets, but it gradually grows into a complex tale of two conflicted individuals who discover that their goals, motivations and desires are slowly changing with time. In the end, they are forced to make difficult choices to reconcile their past with their present, so that they can again hope  for a future. There are some important secondary characters such as Jalal, Khalid's loyal friend and commander, and Despina, Shahrzad's irreverent but caring handmaiden. Tariq, Shahrzad's former betrothed, also plays a vital part (though I found him a bit irritating!).

Source: fiercefragile.com

My thoughts:

I adored the strength, arrogance and gracefulness of Shahrzad, or Shazi, as she is known. She is fierce and brave, yet considerate and willing to understand other perspectives. As Despina once says:

You are the Calipha of Khorasan,....and you are a fearsome thing to behold in your own right.

I really liked the slow building of the utterly romantic relationship between Shazi and Khalid, and the believable transformation of hate-to-love.

And Shahrzad's will fought him, screamed a silent scream, while her heart welcomed the intrusion as a songbird welcomes the dawn. As the dying find grace in an answered prayer..

The author does a marvelous job of portraying an equal relationship in every way. In a situation where all the power is in the hands of Khalid, the Caliph, it could so easily have been a tale of unequal power struggle and coercion. Not only does Khalid grow to admire Shazi's fearlessness, he actively encourages her:

Every day, I think I am going to be surprised by how remarkable you are, but I am not. Because this is what it means to be you. It means knowing no bounds. Being limitless in everything that you do...

You are not weak. You are not indecisive. You are strong. Fierce. Capable beyond measure....

My soul sees its equal in you.

The language is beautiful and flows like soft wine, mellow yet heady. The Arabic setting is evocative, with descriptions of garments, jewelry, weapons, cuisine, and dialects, all perfectly matching the characters and the culture.

The 'terrible secret' is well handled, even though its disclosure could have happened a bit earlier. Kudos to the author for not resorting to the 'big misunderstanding' plot device when Khalid discovers the existence of Tariq. Khalid redeems himself totally in that poignant scene when he rises above circumstances to do what is right. I think he still isn't as fierce as Shazi, but maybe by the next book, he will be.

And what can I say about the ending, which was deliberately incomplete yet satisfying in a way:

Our story may have come to a close, but your story is still yet to be told. Make it a story worthy of you...

So I write it in the sky-
I love you, a thousand times over. And I will never apologize for it. 

The sequel promises to carry on the conflicts and the relationships. The stakes are high and the odds are stacked heavily against Shazi and Khalid. Shazi, at least now, knows whose side she is on in this battle. Khalid too has grown up in terms of character development; the prologue of the next book clearly shows that he is willing to shoulder the responsibilities for his earlier actions. Tariq is definitely going to be there, though I wish we get to see less of his neediness and more of swoon-worthy moments between Khalid and Shahrzad **sigh**. I'm sure we will also see more of the mage Musa, his carpet, Shazi's father, mercenaries, rebel armies and lots of magic!

Now if I could just go to sleep till May 3rd!:)

The Desperately-Seeking-Sequels Syndrome

Rants of a rabid reader

It's happened again. Granted, it was an amazing book which I fell madly in love with, but it left me feeling so terribly incomplete:

Why, you ask?

I'm telling you, I've had enough. Absolutely enough of this cruelty inflicted by immensely gifted authors who weave compelling stories designed to suck me into their worlds, but leave half the threads untied at the end, promising a sequel or two some time in the distant future! 

I have been through this intensely frustrating feeling so many times; yet I become so blindly enamored of the characters and the settings that I keep subjecting myself to this torture. One of my close friends, an avid reader herself, prudently picks up books only after the entire series is complete and hence avoids the heartache that results from reading an incomplete story. I, on the other hand, have no such admirable foresight. I have just reached the end of the fourth book of a six-book fantasy series, The Cat's Eye Chronicles and am willing to do anything, just anything, to know what eventually happens to my favorite characters from the series, Sora and Crash. But do I get a resolution now? Do I get the promise of a resolution some time this year? Do I even know when the next book's release date is? No, no, and no. 

In the good old days of Jane Austen, Emily Bronte and Charles Dickens, no one had ever heard of a series. All books were what are now commonly referred to as 'stand-alone' novels. That did not make them in any way less popular though. I want to know, who, in the history of writing, first came up with this idea of writing a series? Was it the brainchild of some cash-strapped publisher who devised this as a brilliant marketing gimmick to hook the reader? No doubt it succeeded in that purpose. But did anyone spare a thought for the legions of sleep-deprived, eagerly-awaiting-happy-ending fans who were left craving for some sort of a closure, day after day, year after year? Shouldn't there be some sort of law to safeguard the poor, disturbed readers against this?

It's not that I have a thing against the series concept in general, but only a specific kind of series. As every modern fiction reader knows, there are two types of series that are usually written. The first type of series is written by a kind and considerate author, and each book in the series tells a different story which is satisfactorily wrapped up by the end of every book. The thread of continuity in the series may be a set of common characters who are present in all the books of the series. There may even be an overarching story line which runs through all the books and concludes in the penultimate book of the series. However, that doesn't affect the resolution of each individual story in the series. Now I come to the second type of series - the kind which frequently end in cliffhangers or circumstances which come out of the blue and baffle the logical mind. Such situations may be about  much-loved characters suddenly turning out to be traitors (no, it can't be true!) or seemingly dying at the end of a particular book in the series (perhaps she is still alive!) or being separated from their true love (please let them be together in the end!). Anyone who was unfortunate enough to read The Immortals of Meluha, before the second novel in the series was released, will know what kind of ending I'm talking about. What does one do with so many unanswered questions, so many unresolved relationships, and even the fate of the world hanging in balance (what will happen now!**biting nails**)? How does one shrug it all off nonchalantly and go back to one's daily routine, waiting patiently for the next book to be released, whenever that may be? It is just not done, dear authors. 

So what happens to the unfortunate readers in such circumstances? 

They hyperventilate, pace the floor, rave and rant, dream of all possible scenarios that can happen in the next book, stalk the author's Facebook or blog pages for the release date, and in the end, are willing to beg, borrow or steal to get their hands on the sequel when it's finally out! And you thought reading was a passive pastime?

Ask any Harry Potter aficionado and they will tell you how excruciatingly painful the long wait between Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and Harry Potter and the Dealthly Hallows was. My heart goes out in sympathy for the hordes of hapless fans of George R. R. Martin's legendary A Song of Fire and Ice series, who have been waiting with bated breath for the next book since 2011! Just go through a rabid reader's comment posted on Goodreads and you will get an idea of how mass fan helplessness feels like:

"Do you think that it would harm George R.R. Martin's creative process if we forcibly locked him in a plastic bubble to keep him healthy and germ free until books 6 and 7 are complete?"

Another rant on Goodreads from a poor fan:

"It took a nearly fatal run-in with a van for Stephen King to finally guide "The Dark Tower" series to its decades-awaited conclusion. What kind of violent sign from the universe will it take to nudge George R. R. Martin toward the "Song of Ice and Fire" finish line?"

Then there are the truly obsessed ones driven to depths of desperation:

"If George R. R. Martin dies before finishing the series,  I will perform blood magic and bring him back by sacrificing the life of Justin Bieber and/or some other disgusting person."

Therein, dear authors and fellow readers, I rest my case :)

What's genre got to do with it?

The Tipping Point

                                                  

At any point in time, I usually have at least two shelves lined with untouched books, a pile of new books lying on my bedside table, and about 50 freshly downloaded books on my Kindle. Add to that the books I have designated as 'To-Be-Read' on Goodreads and my Amazon wishlist , and the number of books I have yet-to-read-but-really-want-to-read will shoot up to at least 150 (a very conservative estimate)!

So I was wondering last weekend: which book from that pile should I read first. Understandably, it turned out to be a complex decision-making problem, which had to be figured out quickly as my weekend target was completion of at least three of those unread books! I started wondering: maybe there is a pattern to it? How is it exactly that I decide which book to pick up first, considering that I have a seemingly unlimited number of equally lucrative options to choose from? Do I have a particular preference or order of reading? 

                                                 

Here's what I figured out about my book reading process. 

Sometimes I pick up a book based on my mood of the day - am I looking for a fantasy or a goosebumps inducing horror novel? Maybe I should go on a high adventure spree today? Am I in the mood for an intriguing time slip or past-present novel? A little murder and mayhem perhaps? This is more of a spur-of-the-moment book, which I may or may not end up liking. It may just be a way of passing the time and generate a been-there-done-that feeling after completion. Such books are usually dime-a-dozen and meant to be forgotten the moment I finish them.

But once in every few months, there comes a landmark book - which I may have stumbled upon unsuspectingly, but which eventually manages to be powerful enough to alter the course of my reading future! In spite of all the endless number of books I read every year, this book has something so potent that it single-handedly ignites in me an intense craving for similar books with similar settings. For example, early in February, I picked up Rebel of the Sands, and it cast a spell so strong that I immediately rushed to my trusty Amazon store and downloaded the 10 top-rated fantasy-adventure books. So far, I have read at least 20 books of this genre, all within a month, and the hunger still shows no sign of abating. I know, I know what you will say - this is how infatuation feels like! 

                                       

This phase continues for anywhere between two weeks to six months, depending on the intensity of the emotional upheaval caused by the first book which initiated all this madness. During this phase, some classic symptoms exhibited by me are bleary eyes caused by insomnia, partial amnesia resulting in skipping meals, lack of concentration, occasional late arrivals in office, frequent procrastination and extreme unsocial behavior (you have been warned!).

But the question is: does this starry-eyed phase last indefinitely? Fortunately or unfortunately, no. Like all infatuation, this too does pass. By chance, I pick up another path-breaking book which unknowingly takes me to a radically different world or generates in me an unprecedented (?) liking for a particular fictional character, and so another journey into another genre starts. 

But do I prefer a particular genre or type of book always? No, that would be a truly difficult choice and one I'm sure I can never make.

                                                          

                                                     

Carlos Fuentes, the Mexican novelist once said: “Don't classify me, read me. I'm a writer, not a genre.” However, dear authors, I beg to differ. As an eclectic reader and a connoisseur of books, I am addicted to my cyclical, unpredictable genre phases - from angst-filled passion to fantastic adventures, from funny coming-of-age stories to creepy horrors, from historical sagas to suspenseful dramas - I want them all, but in small doses at a time, and in the right mix.

So which book are you in the mood for today?

                                           

The windmills of the mind

This post, unlike the others, is about the lyrics of a song, which sound more like a poem to me than a song. Hence its presence on my blog about the wonder of words :)

Song Lyrics: The Windmills of Your Mind

Source: shutterstock.com

Round like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel -

Never ending or beginning on an ever spinning reel, 

Like a snowball down a mountain, or a carnival balloon, 

Like a carousel that's turning, running rings around the moon, 

Like a clock whose hands are sweeping past the minutes of its face, 

And the world is like an apple whirling silently in space - 

Like the circles that you find in the windmills of your mind!

Like a tunnel that you follow to a tunnel of its own, 

Down a hollow to a cavern where the sun has never shone, 

Like a door that keeps revolving in a half forgotten dream, 

Or the ripples from a pebble someone tosses in a stream, 

Like a clock whose hands are sweeping past the minutes of its face, 

And the world is like an apple whirling silently in space - 

Like the circles that you find in the windmills of your mind!

Source: freepik.com

Keys that jingle in your pocket, words that jangle in your head - 

Why did summer go so quickly? Was it something that you said?

Lovers walking along a shore and leave their footprints in the sand -

Is the sound of distant drumming just the fingers of your hand?

Pictures hanging in a hallway and the fragment of a song, 

Half remembered names and faces, but to whom do they belong?

When you knew that it was over you were suddenly aware 

That the autumn leaves were turning to the color of his hair!

Like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel, 

Never ending or beginning on an ever spinning reel,

As the images unwind, like the circles that you find in
The windmills of your mind!

TheWindmills Of Your Mind lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Source: shutterstock.com

My thoughts: 

I think this writing has similarities with the stream of consciousness narrative technique - a consecutive layering of images and feelings to depict a whirlpool of emotions or a creative sequence of thoughts.

I love the images that this song builds in my head, one after another in rapid succession. Do you feel the same? Listen and enjoy! :)

A story is like water

Story Water by Rumi

A story is like water

that you heat for your bath.

It takes messages between the fire

and your skin. 

It lets them meet,

and it cleans you.

Very few can sit down

in the middle of the fire itself.....

We need intermediaries.

Source: www.dreamstime.com

Beauty surrounds us,

but usually we need to be 

walking in a garden to know it.

The body itself is a screen

to shield and partially reveal

the light that is blazing

inside your presence.

Stories, water, the body, 

All the things we do, are mediums

that hide and show what's hidden.

Study them,

and enjoy this being washed....

Translation by Coleman Barks, The Essential Rumi

Source: hdwallpaperbackgrounds.net

My thoughts:

As anyone who reads stories knows, one can experience a gamut of emotions while going through a story. Sometimes the writer manages to draw me into the story so deeply that I start identifying with the characters or the situations, and I laugh, I cry, I hope.

Some stories fire my imagination, while some inspire me to achieve more. Some stories reiterate the power of human emotions such as love and friendship; others lead me to explore distant lands or bygone eras.

But one thing remains constant - all the stories help me comprehend and appreciate the miracle of this human existence that I have been blessed with.

I think that is what this poem talks about. How we all have stories to tell, how each of our stories influences others' stories, how all our stories are different and yet somehow similar at their core.

So what is your story?

Can beauty be cruel?

Book Review: Cruel Beauty by Rosamund Hodge

Synopsis from the Back Cover:

Since birth, Nyx has been betrothed to the evil ruler of her kingdom—all because of a reckless bargain her father struck. And since birth, she has been training to kill him.

Betrayed by her family yet bound to obey, Nyx rails against her fate. Still, on her seventeenth birthday, she abandons everything she's ever known to marry the all-powerful, immortal Ignifex. Her plan? Seduce him, disarm him, and break the nine-hundred-year-old curse he put on her people.

But Ignifex is not what Nyx expected. The strangely charming lord beguiles her, and his castle—a shifting maze of magical rooms—enthralls her. As Nyx searches for a way to free her homeland by uncovering Ignifex's secrets, she finds herself unwillingly drawn to him. But even if she can bring herself to love her sworn enemy, how can she refuse her duty to kill him?

Based on the classic fairy tale Beauty and the Beast, Cruel Beauty is a dazzling love story about our deepest desires and their power to change our destiny.

Source: www.all-free-download.com

My thoughts:

How did the author do it? How did she turn characters so twisted and bitter into people I ended up caring for? At which point did my emotions start turning in their favor? Throughout this book, I was wondering who is cruel and who is not, who is heroic and who is not, who is real and who is not, what is illusion and what is not. Is Ignifex Gentle? Is Nyx the Beauty? Is Shade a shadow? Are the Kindly Ones kind? Is the sparrow a bird? Is the Arcadia sky a sky?

The author turns every element of fairy tale on its head by making her characters seemingly unlikable yet strong, by mixing mythology and horror with a dark yet satisfying romance. Mingled with the Beauty and the Beast story are fragments from Rumpelstiltskin, the French folk tale of  Blue Beard, the Greek myths of Hades and Persephone and Pandora's box, and even references to alchemy.

Source: www.pininterest.com

The imagery of the land of Arcadia is fantastic - I could almost visualize the shifting shadows:

Demons are made of shadow. Don't look at the shadows too long or a demon might look back.

Every room and hallway in the Gentle Lord's castle is ever changing and mysterious, every door opens into some strange illusion:

The house changes. It has a will and it changes at its own caprice.

The room with the dead wives is horrifying, but the Children of Typhon are the creepiest of them all:

They sang from all around me, a million bodiless children whisper-chanting in my ears:

Five for the symbols at your door,
Telling us your name, oh.
Four for the corners of your world,
We are always nibbling, oh.

Shadows dribbled down my face and welled up out of my skin. The shadows in the hall responded, coming alive. I wanted to claw my skin off, to gnaw the flesh from my bones, anything to get the shadows out of me...

Just like the illusions in the castle, the characters in the story are flawed and difficult to categorize too. Nyx is neither good nor accepting of her fate, and her feelings are always conflicted. She resents that she was chosen to be the wife of the Lord of Bargains and not Astraia, her twin sister:

She smiles because she is safe. She is safe because I am going to die.

She is bitter but brave underneath her scars:

He said: "This house had many dangers. I cannot save you from most of them."....
Then I let go and forced a smile. "I wasn't born to be saved."

Source: www.pininterest.com

Nyx's relationship with Ignifex is the most complex of all:

I knelt over him and smiled down into his face. My body was wrapped in ice; my voice came from somewhere very far away.
"Do you think you are safe with me?"

Both Nyx and Ignifex are conflicted and deeply flawed, yet something tender starts growing from the bitterness and enmity. We start seeing a different side to both of them:

"You deserve all of that and more. It made me happy to see you suffer. I would do it all over again if I could." 
I realized I was shaking as the words tumbled out of me. 
"I would do it again and again. Every night I would torment you and laugh. Do you understand? You are never safe with me." 
I drew a shuddering breath, trying to will away the sting of tears.

He opened his eyes and stared up at me as if I were the door out of Arcadia and back to the true sky. "That's what makes you my favorite." 
He reached up and wiped a tear off my cheek with his thumb. 
"Every wicked part of you."

The writing, as must be apparent by now, is lush and lyrical,

I could feel every contour of the space between us, and I wondered if this weakness was visible, if it glimmered off my body like an oily film on water.

...and portrays wondrous images:

“Have you seen lamplight shine through dusty air, setting the dust motes on fire?” 
He waved a hand. “Imagine that, spread across the night sky—but ten thousand motes and ten thousand times brighter, glittering like the eyes of all the gods.”

The author tantalizingly leaves some clever riddles strewn around, hinting at the solution:

The Kindly Ones liked to leave answers at the edges, where anyone could see them but nobody does.

Ultimately, it remains a story of two flawed individuals discovering that love may not always be beautiful but a handful of kindness can redeem cruelty.

Though mountains melt and oceans burn,
The gifts of love shall still return.
Where you go, I shall go;
Where you die, I shall die,
and there will I be buried.

Goodreads reviews of this book