I measure every grief I meet

Are some like my own?

Wildaboutthewritten word's recent post reminded me of one of my favourite poems by Emily Dickinson. Dickinson is today considered to be one of the most unique voices in American poetry, though she was largely unknown during her lifetime and her writings were only published after her death in 1886. In many ways, her poems were radically different from those of her time - especially in their use of title case, sentence case and dashes. One of Dickinson’s special gifts as a poet is her ability to describe abstract concepts with concrete images. Her poems stand out from the rest by virtue of their power to convey a range of complex emotions through minimal yet profound words. 

In this untitled poem, she brings out evocatively the age-old questions in the minds of the grief-stricken: "Do others understand my pain? Does anyone else feel a similar sorrow? Does time make the burden any lighter?" 

I measure every Grief I meet
With narrow, probing, eyes –
I wonder if It weighs like Mine –
Or has an Easier size.

I wonder if They bore it long –
Or did it just begin –
I could not tell the Date of Mine –
It feels so old a pain –

I wonder if it hurts to live –
And if They have to try –
And whether – could They choose between –
It would not be – to die –

I note that Some – gone patient long –
At length, renew their smile –
An imitation of a Light
That has so little Oil –

I wonder if when Years have piled –
Some Thousands – on the Harm –
That hurt them early – such a lapse
Could give them any Balm –

Or would they go on aching still
Through Centuries of Nerve –
Enlightened to a larger Pain –
In Contrast with the Love –

The Grieved – are many – I am told –
There is the various Cause –
Death – is but one – and comes but once –
And only nails the eyes –

There’s Grief of Want – and grief of Cold –
A sort they call “Despair” –
There’s Banishment from native Eyes –
In sight of Native Air –

And though I may not guess the kind –
Correctly – yet to me
A piercing Comfort it affords
In passing Calvary –

To note the fashions – of the Cross –
And how they’re mostly worn –
Still fascinated to presume
That Some – are like my own –

Source: flickr

My thoughts

What I like about this poem is Emily Dickinson's treatment of such a heavy subject - she does not wallow in melancholy but brings out the pathos through words that are deceptively simple yet carry an immeasurable weight of emotions. Those sharply-etched images stay in my mind long after I've finished reading the poem - a dimmed smile on someone's face akin to a lamp that has little oil left in it; successive sorrows heaped year after year upon the original grief till one is numbed to the pain; the agony of death being perhaps more bearable than slowly dying from a life-long grief; the urge to gauge others' burdens to find out if they bear the same kind of cross. It is so true - knowing someone else has been through similar pain and can relate to it makes us feel a kinship with that person and helps us tolerate our own sorrow. Somewhere deep within us, we feel a strange fortitude: "If they can bear it, so can I."

Too many characters spoil the brew

Book review: All Souls Trilogy by Deborah Harkness

This is a hugely popular trilogy with legions of followers on the net - a series which catapulted a hitherto unknown author to bestseller charts overnight. One of my book-loving friends had read the first book and had recommended it to me. So obviously I started reading the series last week with high expectations. 

“It begins with absence and desire.
It begins with blood and fear.
It begins with a discovery of witches.” 

"A Discovery of Witches" is the first book of the series and undoubtedly the best one of the lot. It is an odd book to review - while I didn't exactly adore the book, I didn't dislike it either. There were certain elements which I found interesting and I was willing to invest more money and time to read the next two books. That is when the things which were mildly irritating in the first book really went on to become full-blown, frustrating habits of the author - her incredibly slow pacing of the plot, penchant for introducing numerous random characters with no relationship to the story, tendency to over-indulge in her pet passions such as history and science, and propensity to tell the readers repeatedly about a person's character rather than showing them. 

Source: gettyimages

The series starts with Diana Bishop, an intelligent and respected professor of Oxford and Yale who during her research in the Bodleian Library of Oxford University accidentally discovers an enchanted old manuscript, or to be more accurate, a palimpsest. Mysterious writings appear on the book and she realizes that it has something to do with magic. Diana comes from a long line of witches, with both her parents being witches. However, following her parent's brutal murder when she just was a child, she has refused to be in contact with any form of magic. So she hastily returns the bewitched book, Ashmole 782, to the library and walks away unconcerned about it till a host of magical creatures start following her to get their hands on the book. We come to know that besides humans, the world is inhabited by three types of supernatural  creatures - witches, vampires and daemons, each race with unique abilities and strictly forbidden to intermingle with the other races, as part of an ancient Covenant enforced by a dictatorial Congregation. The foremost among the supernatural creatures who pursue Diana is a 1500 year old vampire called Matthew Clairmont, a handsome and distinguished professor of biochemistry.

There is a case of insta-love here and I felt my first disconnect with the story. As a connoisseur of the romance genre, I savour deeply felt romances where the hero and the heroine share a bond beyond words. I have often immersed myself in words written by many gifted authors who have made me feel every glance and every touch fraught with meaning that is exchanged between the lead pair. In this book, Diana and Matthew talk a lot about their forbidden love and apparently do a lot of things for love, yet throughout it I felt no passion between them, even less than that between Twilight's Edward and Bella (which I hadn't thought was possible!). I never did understand how and why Diana and Matthew fell in love so fast, given that they are mature adults and not infatuated teenagers in the throes of their first crush. In fact, this entire series left me strangely untouched at the emotional level, and hence I never did care much for the main characters.

Matthew is too good to be true - super rich, intelligent, famous, respected and excelling at everything he does - vampire, scientist, aristocrat, spy, warrior, prince, knight - is there anything he isn't competent at? Yet his ideas about women leave a lot to be desired. He spends inordinate amounts of time bossing Diana around, growling for no apparent reason and making stupid decisions which are never fully explained, such as the climax at the end of the series. Why exactly did he do something as stupid as surrendering to the antagonist - just so that Diana could steal the limelight at the end, as the author had intended to all along? We are repeatedly told how deadly and dangerous Matthew is,  especially with all the "blood rage" thing going on, in the second and third books. But his actions never demonstrate these tendencies and I never felt the danger that is supposedly his second nature. Trust me, I have read about a lot of deadly assassin heroes who have a ruthless and deeply tortured side to them, but Matthew just felt like a cardboard assassin to me.

Source: getlink.youtube.com

Diana is only marginally better - she started grating on my nerves in the first book when she, an apparently independent woman, appeared content to rely on and be guided by Matthew, just because she was in love with him. Her stubborn refusal to use magic and insistence that magic was at the root of all problems, in spite of evidence to the contrary, was also frustrating. However, I liked her a little better than Matthew because in the end of the first book, she saved Matthew from a female vampire bent on revenge and in the second book, she started raising the issue of who wears the pants in their relationship. I also liked her learning how to create and weave spells and her bonding with the witches in the sixteenth century.

Book 1 still passed muster because of characters such as Ysabeau and the Bishop House (which is a character in itself, complete with magical mischievous tendencies and resident ghosts). I had liked the climax of the first book and was willing to forgive the author's tendency to go off the track and repeat herself, thinking that she might get better with time.

In Book 2, "Shadow of Night", Matthew and Diana are supposedly time-travelling to Elizabethan London in the sixteenth century to retrieve Ashmole 782, better known as the "Book of Life" which is purported to contain the secrets of evolution of all the three types of supernatural species. However what do they actually do after reaching there? They spend time debating with the prominent historical figures of the Elizabethan era including Christopher Marlowe, Sir Walter Raleigh, Mary Sidney, Shakespeare and even Queen Elizabeth, get married again in France at Sire Phillippe's insistence, and adopt two unknown orphans Jack and Anne. Why were so many characters introduced and what bearing did they have to the main story? I have no idea.

Source: guardian.uk

The author wakes up towards the end and Diana and Phillip realize that Diana still hasn't learnt any magic and they have not tracked the book either and there is a hasty scramble to get back to the plot! I would have liked to see more of the witches who taught Diana and learn more about the firedrake Corra's background. Instead we get to meet Rudolf II, the lecherous Holy Roman Emperor and some other extraneous characters in Prague who only confuse the story further. At the tail end, we come across the main villain who it is soon revealed is the root cause of all the mess. Book 2 was the worst of the three books and I skimmed through it, omitting a large number of pages where nothing significant happened. The only redeeming features of Book 2 were the introduction of Phillippe, Matthew's omnipotent father, and the funny Gallowglass (my favourite character in the series).

By Book 3, "The Book of Life", I had almost given up hopes of the author redeeming herself and this was almost a DNF for me. I skipped chapters in the middle and only then was able to complete it. However, it turned out to be better than the second book. I liked the camaraderie among the family and friends of Diana and Matthew and their willingness to stand by our lead pair in times of crisis. However, more irrelevant characters were introduced such as the witches of Madison, the present-day London witch coven, Diana's scientist friend Chris, her librarian friend (Lucy I think) and members of the dreaded Congregation. Conversely, I didn't get to see more of characters I had found interesting, such as Andrew Hubbard - he had an intriguing background and came across as a thought-provoking character. I would also have liked to see more of Corra, Diana's mother Rebecca, the Bishop House and the ghost Bridget Bishop. Aunt Emily's fate is also never fully explained - what she had been trying to achieve and why. My biggest complaint is that not enough time was devoted in the end to explaining how the "Book of Life"will be put to use, considering that gaining it had been the objective of the entire series. Again, Gallowglass and Ysabeau were the only characters I liked, though I kind of liked Jack too. I have a feeling that we will have a sequel featuring Gallowglass in the near future (which I suspect will again be 800 pages long and which I won't subject myself to!).

Source: Fotor

This series had all the ingredients of an entrancing novel - a forbidden love story, an urban paranormal fantasy, a literary mystery, an epic battle - and I really wanted to like it. However, I can only rate it at 2.5 out of 5, and that rating is just because of its interesting premise and not its actual execution. All in all, it may be worth a one-time read if you are curious to know what all the hype is about, but be prepared to skip large portions of the second and third books if you want to ever complete the series and not fall asleep mid-way!

Reflections

I am not cruel, only truthful

Sylvia Plath was one of the most dynamic and controversial poets and novelists of the 20th century, known as much for her cynical and brutally realistic portrayal of life as for her turbulent personal story of chronic depression, marriage to poet Ted Hughes and suicide at the age of just 30. Her poems frequently strip away the polite veneer and unearth conflicts of human nature and our primeval fears.One of my favourites is a poem called "Mirror" which depicts a woman's hidden insecurities. It is somewhat melancholy and bitter, like all of Sylvia's works, though it manages to evoke strong images with a few apt words. I especially like the last two haunting lines which capture the poignant essence of the poem.

Source: gettyimages

Mirror by Sylvia Plath

I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions.

Whatever I see I swallow immediately
Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike.
I am not cruel, only truthful‚
The eye of a little god, four-cornered.
Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall.
It is pink, with speckles. I have looked at it so long
I think it is part of my heart. But it flickers.
Faces and darkness separate us over and over.

Source: dailymail.co.uk

Now I am a lake. A woman bends over me,
Searching my reaches for what she really is.
Then she turns to those liars, the candles or the moon.
I see her back, and reflect it faithfully.
She rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands.
I am important to her. She comes and goes.
Each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness.
In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman
Rises toward her day after day, like a terrible fish.

You who never arrived

Beloved by Rainer Maria Rilke

Rainer Maria Rilke is a poet I've admired for a long time, mainly because of the intensity of emotions he could convey in his poems, even though I can only read his translated words. Most of his poems are almost mystical in spirit and bear a resemblance to Rumi's poems of divine love. Today I am sharing one of my favourite poems - not surprisingly it's one about an endless search, perhaps for a strangely familiar stranger. I especially love the last paragraph of this poem - those images of barely missed chances of meeting the beloved are so poignant and seem to find an echo somewhere within me.

You who never arrived
in my arms, Beloved, who were lost
from the start,
I don't even know what songs
would please you. I have given up trying
to recognize you in the surging wave of
the next moment. All the immense
images in me - the far-off, deeply-felt
landscape, cities, towers, and bridges, and
unsuspected turns in the path,
and those powerful lands that were once
pulsing with the life of the gods -
all rise within me to mean
you, who forever elude me.

You, Beloved, who are all
the gardens I have ever gazed at,
longing. An open window
in a country house - and you almost
stepped out, pensive, to meet me.
Streets that I chanced upon -
you had just walked down them and vanished.
And sometimes, in a shop, the mirrors
were still dizzy with your presence and,
startled, gave back my too-sudden image.
Who knows? Perhaps the same
bird echoed through both of us
yesterday, separate, in the evening...

The dance

Happiness

A bounce on a cloud
Leaping on a treetop,
A giddy little spin
Till the birds join in.
A twirl on tiptoes
Balancing on a flower,
A waltz in the wind
Blowing leaves from my hair.
A jump from a mountain
Swaying with the mists,
A beat in my blood
Repeating a whirling tune.
Blurred swirling days 
Drunk on my dreams,
Dizzy flitting nights
That never sit down.
Like a skipping river
That has gulped rainbows,
From one wave to the next -
I dance.

- Sometimes words bubble up within me, out of nowhere - feelings that are clamouring to be expressed. Yesterday was such a day. I felt inexplicably happy - as if every particle of dust shimmering in the sun was filled with happiness. I felt like I could dance with the whole of universe, deliriously drunk on the magic of life. Out of that ecstatic feeling, this poem was born.

Stars in my eyes

Book review: The Star-Touched Queen by Roshani Chokshi

This is a book whose release date I have been stalking for months, after being mesmerized by the excerpt released by the author earlier. The initial preview promised a mix of Indian mythology and folklore, Rajas and Ranis (kings and queens), fantasy and romance. But what had stood out in my mind was the author's entrancing prose - her lyrical, otherworldly descriptions full of unusual imagery. So when this book was finally released, I grabbed it as soon as possible and finished it in one sitting. Did it live up to my admittedly high expectations? Yes, absolutely! That's why I'm writing this review today:)

I have not come across any other historical fantasy set in the Indian context, barring Amish's mythological "Shiva Trilogy"; so this book was an almost uncharted territory to venture into. The magical descriptions of rulers and kingdoms at the beginning reminded me of the "Amar Chitra Katha" books I used to read in childhood, while some parts of the book had similarities to Rosamund Hodge's "Cruel Beauty". But this book had enough of its own breath-taking imagery and an intensely romantic story line involving reincarnation (my favourite theme) to keep me enthralled for hours. There are so many utterly magical passages in this book that I kept going back and re-reading them so that the beauty of the words could truly sink in. I'm afraid I won't be able to stop myself from quoting the most memorable ones here:) So this review will be slightly different from the rest. I will rely more on Roshani Chokshi's lyrical prose and refrain from revealing too much of the imaginative plot. In fact, what better way to express my admiration for this brilliant wordsmith than by quoting her in this blog of words?

Source: revelwallpapers.net

Staring at the sky in Bharata was like exchanging a secret. It felt private, like I had peered through a veil of a hundred worlds. When I looked up, I could imagine - for a moment - what the sky hid from everyone else. I could see where the winds yawned with silver lips and curled themselves to sleep. I could glimpse the moon folding herself into crescents and half-smiles. When I looked up, I could imagine an existence as vast as the sky. Just as infinite. Just as unknown.

This book tells the story of Mayavati, a young princess of the kingdom of Bharata. At the beginning of the book, Maya lives in a palace full of scheming Ranis where she is ostracized by everyone because of her inauspicious horoscope promising a marriage of death and destruction. Her mother died at childbirth and her father, the Raja, is indifferent to her. So she lives in a quiet world of her own with only books for company, hungering for the unknown and imagining a world beyond what she has seen:

The week before, I had lost myself in the folktales of Bharata. Stories of elephants who spun clouds, shaking tremors loose from ancient trunks gnarled with the rime of lost cyclones, whirlwinds and thunderstorms. Myths of frank-eyed naga women twisting serpentine, flashing smiles full of uncut gemstones. Legends of a world beneath, above, beside the one I knew - where trees bore edible gems and no one would think twice about a girl with dark skin and a darker horoscope. 

Source: picswallpaper.com

The only person in the palace she is close to is her half-sister Gauri, to whom she narrates fantastic bedtime stories every night - tales of the Otherworld of her imagination, of the Night Bazaar with its strange creatures, and of Narasimha - the half-human, half-lion incarnation of the god of death. 

I wanted it to be real so badly that sometimes I thought I could see the Otherworld. Sometimes, if I closed  my eyes and pressed my toes into the ground, I could almost sense them sinking into the loam of some other land, a dream demesne where the sky cleaved in two and the earth was sutured with a magic that could heal hearts, mend bones, change lives.

With a horoscope that portends death, Maya has no hope of getting married, though she imagines the kind of love she would wish for:

What I wanted was a connection, a shared heartbeat that kept rhythm across oceans and worlds. Not some alliance cobbled out of war. I didn't want the prince from the folktales or some milk-skinned, honey-eyed youth who said his greetings and proclaimed his love in the same breath. I wanted a love thick with time, as inscrutable as if a lathe had carved it from night and as familiar as a marrow in my bones. I wanted the impossible...

The author grabbed me then and there and I was unable to let go of the book after that, even though it was well past my sleeping time :) 

Source: www.sheryna.in

Maya's country is suddenly threatened by rebel forces and rival kings. As she is the only princess who is yet to be betrothed, the Raja arranges for a fake swayamvar for her so that he can invite the neighbouring kings into his palace on this pretext and defeat them. Maya is shocked when he orders her to drink poison during the ceremony instead of choosing a groom, so that his plans of victory are not jeopardized. Maya thinks that there is no point in continuing her ill-fated, lonely existence anyway and prepares to drink from the poison vial. 

But at the last moment, she is stopped by a hooded stranger in black whose voice triggers a strange reaction in her:

It drilled through the gloaming of my thoughts, pulled at me...The hollow inside me shifted, humming a reply in melted song. I could have been a verse made of flesh or compressed moonlight. 

The stranger introduces himself as Amar, the Raja of Akaran, before rebel soldiers attack the hall and all hell breaks loose. In the pandemonium that ensues, Amar holds out his hand to Maya and asks her to come with him. Maya is overwhelmed by a strange feeling that she has lived this moment before and she almost unconsciously throws her swayamvar garland round his neck, thus choosing him as her husband:

Something else guided my hands. Images flashing sideways - a different hand, a samite curtain. I was convinced that we owned this single moment, this sphere of breath, this heartbeat shared, like a secret. 

Source: www.pininterest.com

Amar and Maya flee the kingdom of Bharata to go to Akaran, Amar's home. On the way, Maya is stunned to see the Night Bazaar which she had always thought was a place found only in childhood fantasies. Maya finds that the market is exactly as she had imagined it to be - full of otherworldly beings and magical wares. She knows that the Night Bazaar cannot exist in the human realm and the fact that Amar has access to it proves that he is something other than human. She gets worried that she has married a sinister demon and asks Amar what he wants from her:

"I want your perspective and honesty," he said, before adding in a softer voice, "I want to be humbled by you..."

"My kingdom needs a queen," he said. "It needs someone with fury in her heart and shadows in her smile. It needs someone restless and clever. It needs you."
"You know nothing about me."

"I know your soul. Everything else is an ornament."

- whereby I was reduced to a puddle of mush :) Now you know why I had said that the author has a way with words, with a knack for writing incredibly romantic dialogues.

Amar offers Maya a blood oath that he will always protect and cherish her, and asks for her trust and patience in return. He says that he cannot reveal anything about himself till the new moon; till then she will have to trust him and live with him in his kingdom. When they arrive at Akaran, Maya finds the kingdom and the palace completely devoid of any living or otherworldly beings, except for Amar's councilor Gupta.The palace is lavishly decorated and full of stone hallways and strange locked rooms. During a tour of the palace, Gupta warns her that because Akaran is at the border of the human world and Otherworld, some of the locked doors may lead to endless holes or pools of glass, or to dense forests or night skies where one can get lost forever.

As the days pass by, Maya increasingly feels that an important part of her memory is missing, even as she is irresistibly drawn towards Amar:

When I looked at him, something stirred in me. It felt like recognition sifted through my dreams; like the moment before waking - when sleep blurred the true world, when beasts with sharp teeth and beautiful, winged things flew along the edges of your mind...

"My star-touched queen," he said softly, as if remembering something from long ago. "I would break the world to give you what you want."

Source: wallpapersnexus.com

Maya discovers a strange, intricate tapestry whose threads can alter human fates, hears the barking of bloodthirsty hunting hounds and listens to disembodied voices chanting from behind locked doors:

You can have him, but not hold him

He gives you gold, but your bed is cold

You've seen his eyes, but not his spies

Who is he?

She starts displaying unusual powers of her own, which Amar encourages her to explore further. She also keeps hearing whispers in the hallways and her nights are riddled with nightmares:

That night, I dreamed of locked doors and baying hounds, rooms that were night-dark and a beast-king that smiled and laughed around a mouthful of broken stars to sing one phrase over and over: I know the monster in your bed.

Maya finds a charred door wrapped in chains which no one else seems to see and a forbidden room which haunts her. A multitude of questions start plaguing Maya and she is unable to trust Amar anymore, even though she still can't stop being fascinated by him:

His voice wrapped around me, lustrous and dark. It was the kind of voice that could soothe you to sleep in the same moment that it slit your throat. Still, I leaned towards it.

What is behind that charred door? What are the strange voices trying to tell her? Who are the wraiths that she sees walking in the halls? What memory is her mind trying to remember? What is Amar hiding from her? Who is Amar really? Maya gets desperate for answers but does not know who to turn to for help, as Amar refuses to provide answers till the new moon day. She even sees visions of people who were part of her old life in Bharata, including her father. One day she loses patience and opens the forbidden door to discover a banyan tree with shards of her lost memory hanging from it like pieces of a broken mirror.

Does she remember what she has forgotten? Does she find out who Amar is? How does she befriend the funny, demonic horse Kamala? How does she come across the celestial, cloud-sifting elephant Airavata? Does she get to meet her beloved sister Gauri again? Can she ever experience the kind of eternal love she has always longed for?

Fortunately, to get the answers to all these questions, you don't have to wait till the new moon but only till you read the book:) I can just hint at a happy ending and the promise that there are no loose threads left untied at the end and hence no need for a sequel!

Neither the secret whirring song of the stars nor the sonorous canticles of the earth knew the language that sprang up in the space between us. It was a dialect of heartbeats, strung together with the lilt of long suffering and the incandescent hope of an infinite future.

This book is more of an ethereal fairy tale romance set in a fantastic world of myths. So one shouldn't expect complex character development, a kick-ass heroine or non-stop adventure.  It is however a coming-of-age story in a way, for Maya. As the story is narrated in first person by Maya, we get more insights into her character than Amar's. I would have liked to know and understand Amar better though; he stays somewhat mysterious till the end. I am very tempted to compare this with "Cruel Beauty" which has a similar premise, but is undoubtedly darker and more complex than this book. However when it comes to dream-like descriptions and the feel of a true fantasy, "A Star-Touched Queen" wins hands down. As a reader, I adored both books albeit for very different reasons, and would not hesitate to re-read either of them when I'm looking for something out of the ordinary.

For a die-hard romantic like me who believes in true love transcending lifetimes, this book is a treasure trove of brilliantly-hued emotions. But even if romance or fantasy isn't your thing, I would recommend this to you if you are someone who appreciates the luminous beauty and sheer magic that words can evoke within the pages of a book.

The mother of all sequels!

Take my breath away..

Last week, I experienced a phenomenon which I have rarely encountered in my book-reading journey - an author, whose series I had almost given up on, managing to completely surprise me by coming out with a game-changing sequel! To top it all, I have a sneaking suspicion that I felt exactly what the clever author had wanted me to feel - dissatisfaction with the first book's characters and their motivations only to realize in the second book that there were valid reasons for that dissatisfaction! 

Take a bow, Ms. Sarah J. Maas. I had skimmed through the first book "A Court of Thorns and Roses" taking it as a typical representative of the young adult fantasy genre. When the second book "A Court of Mist and Fury" was released this week, I picked it up only because I was intrigued by a certain villainous character who despite having an almost guest appearance in the first book, managed to steal every scene in which he appeared. Imagine my surprise when every chapter in the lengthy sequel turned out to be a revelation, with the main characters undergoing unexpected transformations and the story taking a turn I had never foreseen while reading the first book! The talented Ms. Maas kept me glued to my Kindle for seven continuous hours at night, without food or sleep! So here comes a joint review of both the books because one is of course  incomplete without the other.

The series revolves around Feyre (pronounced as "Fay-ruh"), an independent and beautiful young girl belonging to an impoverished merchant family - how her destiny takes her from a simple human village to powerful faerie courts, the hardships and deadly trials she faces, and the alliances and relationships she forms along the way. At the start of "A Court of Thorns and Roses", Feyre has given up her own dreams and taught herself to hunt so that she can support her crippled father and two sisters. They live in a village on the outskirts of a dense forest which borders Prythian, the faerie land. Prythian is supposed to be ruled by the courts of seven powerful and immortal High Fae Lords.  Humans are forbidden to cross the wall in the forest that separates the human and Fae lands. 

One day, while hunting a deer, Feyre inadvertently kills a wolf, not realizing that the wolf is a high-ranking faerie in disguise. Soon a ferocious beast arrives at her house demanding revenge for the murder of his friend, the shape-shifting wolf. Feyre agrees to go and stay with the beast to atone for the murder and keep her family safe. After crossing into Fae territory, the beast brings her to a beautiful palace in a land of eternal spring. Feyre soon discovers that the beast is actually Tamlin, the High Lord of the Spring Court, who is young and handsome but somehow cursed. Tamlin always wears a mask that hides his face and can take the form of a beast whenever he wants to. He gives Feyre wonderful gifts and makes her feel pampered and protected. Feyre, who has always been the one making ends meet for her family, slowly starts falling for Tamlin's charm. Tamlin never really reveals the full details of his curse to Feyre, though he confesses much later that the curse can be broken only if a girl falls in love with him. This part of the story is reminiscent of the "Beauty and the Beast" fairy tale and the Scottish folk tale of "Tam Lin". 

In a bid to protect Feyre from the evil fairy queen Amarantha and her imminent attack on the Spring Court, Tamlin persuades Feyre to go back to her family. Feyre however realizes that she does love Tamlin and comes back to confront Amarantha. The evil queen has  by this time captured Tamlin and taken away his powers, to add his court to the six faerie courts she has already enslaved. She tries to break Feyre's spirit but Feyre is determined to rescue her true love Tamlin at any cost. Amarantha sets three seemingly impossible and dangerous tasks for Feyre, promising that if Feyre wins these three trials, the curse on all Fae lands will be lifted and Tamlin will be free. Through sheer willpower, Feyre transforms herself into a Katniss type huntress, and receives help from a surprising ally, Rhysand. Rhysand is the powerful, devious and ruthless High Lord of the Night Court who is pretending to be Amarantha's supporter but seems to be actually plotting her downfall. Rhysand makes a bargain with Feyre that he will heal her wounds in exchange for her spending one week of every future month at his Night Court. Feyre agrees reluctantly and through her bravery and intelligence, eventually manages to win all the three challenges.  But Amarantha goes back on her word the moment Feyre wins and kills her. The curse on Tamlin and all of Fae is nevertheless broken and Tamlin kills Amarantha in his rage. All the seven High Lords are freed and in gratitude, they give a drop of their magical essence to Feyre and she is reborn as an immortal High Fae, though her heart remains human. 

So that was how the first book ended, with Feyre and Tamlin together at last and true love seemingly triumphing over evil. I didn't care much for either of them or their romance which lacked depth. Though the YA blogosphere was going into raptures over it, the book seemed nothing out of the ordinary to me (the reason why its review didn't grace my blog before today). Feyre seemed to be a bit immature and infatuated with Tamlin solely because of the attention he bestowed on her. Tamlin, on the other hand, came across as weak, ineffectual and over-protective. The only character who appeared interesting was the mysterious Rhysand, whose motives for helping Feyre remain questionable till the very end. I was wondering whether there was the possibility of a love triangle in the future (the kind I hate) or if we would see Feyre and Tamlin happily wedded by the beginning of the second book (true to a  saccharine-sweet, predictable fairy tale ending). 

Turns out I was wrong on all counts! I had found the relationship between Feyre and Tamlin too shallow because that's what it was! "A Court of Mist and Fury" starts three months after the events of the previous book and there is no happy ending in sight. We find Feyre an emotional wreck, unable to forgive herself for killing two innocent faeries as part of Amarantha's last challenge. She has nightmares of being trapped in Amarantha's prison again which Tamlin ignores, instead of helping her cope with them. Tamlin becomes more and more controlling and treats her like a prized and decorated possession, allowing her no freedom of movement or thought. On top of that, she feels latent powers brewing within her, perhaps as a gift unconsciously transferred from the seven High Lords who gave her life back. But she doesn't know how to harness these powers and Tamlin once again refuses to help her. On the day of her wedding to Tamlin, when her inner self screams to be saved, Rhysand suddenly appears and claims her week as part of their earlier bargain, and so begins her introduction to the infamous Night Court. This part has similarities to the tale of Persephone who was carried to the underworld by Hades, the lord of darkness.

However, there is a surprise waiting for Feyre as well as the readers - Rhysand's Night Court is not full of depravity, torture, suffocation and death, as touted. Instead, it's called the "Court of Dreams" - the most beautiful place Feyre has ever seen. Feyre is treated as a guest and feels carefree for the first time - staying in Rhysand's wonderfully open houses surrounded by snow-capped mountains, with no walls or windows but just the spectacular night sky and sparkling stars above. The world-building is awesome and some interesting new characters are introduced. Feyre meets and forms surprising friendships with the four powerful members of Rhys' Inner Court - his beautiful cousin Morrigan (or Mor), the otherworldly being of untold powers Amren, and the winged Illyrian warriors Azriel and Cassian. She also tours the entrancing rainbow city of Veralis which Rhys had managed to keep hidden from Amarantha and realizes how much he has sacrificed to keep his family, friends and people safe.  

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Through Feyre's eyes, the different dimensions of Rhys' complex personality are revealed. Her bargain with Rhys has created a telepathic bond between them where each can hear the other's thoughts. Hence Rhys seems to be aware of every trauma she has been through in the last few months. He always treats Feyre as an equal and never patronises or tries to control her. He keeps encouraging Feyre to emerge from her cocoon, to overcome her nightmares, to learn how to read, and to explore her newfound powers. He flirts with her and teases her and their snarky banter is delightful to witness. Yet the reader becomes increasingly aware that underneath it all, Rhys is gently taking care of Feyre's every need. He does not coddle Feyre but leaves her to fight her own battles - be it with the spine-chilling Bone Carver, the deadly Weaver or the cunning Attor. Feyre slowly starts believing in herself again, regains her fiery spirit, and vows never to go back to being a puppet in anyone's hands:

I was not a prey any longer, I decided....And I was not a mouse. I was a wolf... And I bit when cornered....

I had let them make me weak. Bent to it like some wild horse broken to the bit...

I was not a pet, not a doll, not an animal. I was a survivor, and I was strong. I would not be weak, or helpless again. I would not, could not be broken. Tamed.

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Rhys is one of the best fictional heroes I have ever read, one who comes across as an anti-hero initially, only to gradually display every personality trait a true hero should have. His and Feyre's slow-burn romance completely redeemed the series for me. The depth of emotion that was missing from the first book (maybe deliberately) is present in its most believable form here. Rhys and Feyre become friends first, comrades next and lovers only towards the end. The bond that they share is beyond words - they each realize how similar they are at their core. They are both warriors forced to protect their worlds, though they are dreamers deep inside their hearts.

But what I liked was that the romance was never the pivot of the story. The focus is always the transformation in Feyre - brought about first by Tamlin, then by Amarantha and lastly by Rhysand. There is also a lot of action happening in the background. There is a war brewing in Prythian - the tyrannical King of Hybern is about to attack the Fae lands, resurrect an ancient warrior and annihilate all human settlements. As the story progresses, unexpected friendships are formed while former friends turn traitors. Feyre, Rhys and their friends have to form appropriate political alliances, find magical artefacts, fight evil beings and keep their beloved city of Veralis safe. 

The book sets up the context nicely for the penultimate book in the series to be released next year. While many questions were answered and resolved in this book, new questions have now emerged. Will Feyre and her friends succeed in defeating the King of Hybern? Who can they trust as their allies? Will Feyre ever know the fullest extent of her powers? Will she and Rhys get to stay together in the end? I hope so, because they have endured a lot and are willing to ceaselessly fight for their dreams. Keeping my fingers crossed :)

The lesson learned:

Do not judge a series solely by its first book. The author may be surreptitiously planning to throw a googly at you in the sequel! :)